A Life Less Extraordinary
by Julbie
Summary: Chapter 6 is now up! I'm sorry it took so long, life got in the way. Hope it's worth the wait! Please R&R.
1. Default Chapter

Los Angeles.   
  
The bar is dimly lit, with blue and red accent lighting. It's the kind of bar where the peanut shells on the floor obscure the other nasty things dropped out of the mouths and pockets of the questionable clientele.   
  
A large, mean-looking vampire, Lenny, stands by the bar with a bloody looking drink in his hand. A cluster of demons and other vampires stand around, listening to him bitch about a little town called "Sunnydale."  
  
"... yeah, it's really going down hill. I'm glad I got out when I did. Couldn't do a decent nights kill without some do-gooder breathing down your neck. There was this vamp, thought he was some kind of somebody. Running around killing his own kind. Allied himself to the SLAYER! Can you believe that? I mean, how far do you gotta sink before you just haul off and stake yourself, right?" Lenny is slurring slightly. The others nod and murmur, all in varying stages of drunkenness.  
  
"Yeah, well it gets worse... he has a soul."  
  
Some of the others look up, curious.  
  
Lenny continues. "The vampire, I mean! I never even believed such a thing is possible. But I know some fellas that can sniff out that kind of stuff. And they were on to him. ...Thinks he's such a bad ass when really he's nothing but a sap. Pathetic. Well, anyway, that's why I moved here. To get away from the vampire with the soul." Lenny exaggerates that last word, mocking it. He is so full of renewed bitterness that he almost doesn't notice that he's being snickered at.   
  
Finally, he realizes. "What?"   
  
"So..." a skinny, pink demon recaps, holding in his mirth, "You came HERE to get away from the souled vampire?"   
  
"Yeah, what's so frigging funny about it?"  
  
The group holds it together a little longer as they look at each other, but when they turn to see the questioning expression deepen on Lenny's face, they all burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
***  
  
Things are fairly quiet around the lobby of the Hyperion when the doors are suddenly blown in. Fred jumps from her desk and Gunn instantly dives for his crossbow.   
  
Lenny is now leading a pack of vampires and demons into the lobby. They are riled up and full of liquor. Not a good combo.   
  
"Where are you, you bastard? I want to see your miserable face!" Lenny is waving a baseball bat that has been sharpened at the tip. "Come on out and play with me, junior. I know you want to. You went and took the trouble to follow me all the way to Los Angeles, least you could do is be hospitable."  
  
Angel shuffles into the lobby, wiping his hands and chewing on the last bit of whatever he had been snacking on previous to the invasion. He seems incongruously calm and cordial.   
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
Lenny sneers at him. "The vampire with the soul... They tell me he's staying here. I'd like to have a word or two with him." Lenny strokes the tip of his bat, not un-sexually.  
  
Gunn and Angel look at each other and then back to the large vamp.   
  
"Okay... Hi." says Angel, cheerfully. "Nice to meet you."  
  
Lenny stares blankly. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry, did you want to pick the words?"  
  
Lenny is losing patience. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
"I'm... him."  
  
"He's the vampire with a soul you ordered," Gunn says, cocking his crossbow and pointing it at Lenny. "Comes with a side of stake."   
  
Lenny ignores the threat. After looking Angel up and down with a snarl, he shakes his head. "No. That's not him."  
  
Angel can't help but laugh. "Actually... it kinda is."  
  
"We swear." This comes from Fred, who is frightened but trying to be helpful.  
  
Lenny looks around his "gang" who are all nodding and looking a bit confused themselves.   
  
The skinny pink demon chimes in, "They're not lying, man. That's him. I thought you said you knew him."  
  
Lenny drops the bat down to his side. "No. No, this isn't the guy. I'm talking about the vampire with a soul. Smallish guy, about yay high... but strong... and quite lithe actually..."   
  
Blank stares all around.   
  
Lenny thinks a minute. " ...bleaches his hair?"  
  
The rest are still at a total loss, but Angel's face falls noticeably. He tilts his head and squints at Lenny. "I'm sorry... what did you say?"  
  
***  
  
"Hold still."   
  
"Niblet, I'm fine. Would you get off?"  
  
"You're bleeding into your eye."   
  
"So? Makes me look cool."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous."  
  
Dawn is standing over Spike who is sitting on a gravestone. She has a fistful of his hair and is pulling his head back roughly to dab at his eye with a cloth.  
  
"OW! Dammit, that hurts!"  
  
"I have to press on it to stop the bleeding. Just suck it up. Quit being such a baby."  
  
Spike is about to whine some more, but stops himself. He sighs. "Not that I don't appreciate the effort, luv, but I'm a vampire. I don't think this little scratch will mean the end of me."  
  
"If you lose too much blood you'll need to feed sooner and you always get cranky when you haven't fed. And plus you already have a scar over this eye. Another one and it will just look like you're trying too hard.  
  
Spike can't help but laugh. "You're twisted, bit."   
  
Dawn smirks, but doesn't let Spike see it. Soul or no soul she's still, technically, mad at him for what he did to Buffy. He never did apologize, but that's probably best. There are no words after something like that. But ever since he's been back he's been helping them. It took them a while to trust that there were no strings attached, no ulterior motives, even after they found out about the soul. But Spike seems to expect nothing at all in return. Not even kindness. He's just always ready with a little extra muscle or some old school knowledge when it's needed. Dawn suspects that this is Spike's idea of penance.   
  
Works for her.  
  
Buffy trots up to them, winded. "I lost him. He's a slippery little sucker."  
  
"Maybe you're just getting slower. OW! Dawn! You did that on purpose."  
  
"Maybe," Dawn chirps. "Do you feel like being nicer now?"  
  
"Never."  
  
Buffy is mildly annoyed. "Dawn, Spike can take care of himself. It's nothing, it'll heal on it's own."  
  
"That's what I've been trying to tell her."   
  
Dawn lifts the cloth to reveal a hideous tear above Spike's eye. "Look at this."  
  
Buffy can't help but grimace.  
  
"Demon nearly tore his face off and you two are like... oh blah, blah, just a scratch, blah, blah. Stop trying to out-tough each other. It's getting boring." Dawn resumes dabbing with a scowl on her face.  
  
Spike and Buffy barely glance at each other.   
  
Suddenly, Spike is all business. "So you think we should search the sewers, then?"  
  
"Not tonight." Buffy is more than happy (relieved, even) to talk shop. "We gave him a run. He'll probably lay low till tomorrow night. So meet me in the tunnels at noon tomorrow. We'll surprise him."  
  
Spike takes hold of the bloody cloth covering his eye and Dawn lets go. "Thanks, luv. Feels much better. Really."  
  
"You should come back to the house. I'll sew you up."   
  
Buffy's mouth drops open. "Dawn! Gross!"   
  
Spike stands, looking appalled, and little woozy. "That's it, I'm getting out of here. You're starting to give me the willies, you are."  
  
Dawn almost laughs. "What's the big? You're afraid of a little needle and thread after taking a slash like that?"   
  
Spike turns his attention to Buffy. "This is your influence, you know. She wasn't this Rambo before I left."  
  
"Oh and I guess your dark tales of little girls stashed in coal bins had nothing to do with this fascination with gore of hers."  
  
"Hey! What am I, three? I can hear you! And I don't appreciate you guys discussing me like concerned parents. This is Sunnydale. A girl needs to toughen up if she's gonna survive. Especially if she's going to hang around the two of you."   
  
Buffy and Spike look at each other and can't help but break into smiles. It is only a brief exchange, as they realize things are getting too friendly. It doesn't seem right. They're not friends. It's all about business now. The smiles disappear and Buffy looks away first.  
  
Spike clears his throat. "You're right, bit. Sorry. But I think I can take it from here."  
  
"Suit yourself." Dawn says quietly, feeling the tension.  
  
"So... noon, then? Under the magic box?" Spike barely looks at Buffy.  
  
"Yeah. Bring an axe."   
  
Spike nods and they part ways. Spike goes off in one direction. The girls in another.   
  
Buffy stops. Turns. "Spike?"  
  
He turns, still dabbing at his wound.   
  
"You sure you're gonna be okay?" She winces at his gaping wound as he lowers the cloth. "It is kinda... oozy."  
  
"I've had worse." He giggles nervously at the reference he's certain she won't get.  
  
"Okay." Nope. Doesn't get it. "Well... goodnight."   
  
"Night."  
  
Almost reluctantly, Buffy turns and starts walking away. Spike doesn't move. Watching them go, he takes a deep breath, reeling from the genuine concern in her voice. When they're out of sight, he turns and walks away slowly, still tending to his bloody eye.   
  
From out of the shadows, Angel appears. Having witnessed the whole exchange, his face is a mask of worry and confusion.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Dawn and Buffy are headed back home after a night of patrolling with Spike. They're mostly quiet. Suddenly, Dawn chuckles and, in a silly voice, repeats what Spike said earlier. "I've had worse." She giggles some more and Buffy looks at her.  
  
"What's so funny about that?"   
  
"It's from Monty Python. This knight gets like, all his limbs chopped off and he just goes 'I've had worse' and still wants to fight. It's really funny."  
  
Buffy contemplates. "A stubborn idiot who doesn't know when to quit. Sounds like Spike's roll model. Since when are you a Monty Python fan?"   
  
"Spike's got all their mo--vies..." Realizing the implications, Dawn trails off.  
  
Buffy stops walking and turns to her sister. "Dawn, listen... I know he's got a soul now and I know he helps us out, but... there's a lot... it's... I'm not in that place yet where I'm cool with him being in our lives again."  
  
"I know. I totally know. I'm with you, I swear. But I just watched a movie with him, it's not like I'm inviting him over to carve the roast beast. Sometimes he just seems so... lonely."  
  
Buffy's face softens at this, they continue walking. "Yeah, I know. It's much easier to be tough on him when you don't have to look at him. Can't we make him wear a paper bag over his head or something?"  
  
Dawn rolls her eyes and laughs. "Is it the sad, puppy eyes or the hottie factor?"  
  
Buffy blanches. "Sad puppy eyes! Only! And you are never to refer to Spike as a hottie again! Dawn, please tell me that crush isn't making a comeback."  
  
A heavy, teenage sigh emits from Dawn. "First of all, he's like... a million. Second, he acts like he's my dad or something. And third..." Dawn stops herself. "I think I'm gonna keep 'third' to myself."  
  
Buffy wrinkles her brow, suspicious. "Why?"  
  
"Because I don't think you're ready to hear it."  
  
And since that statement is most likely true, Buffy and Dawn walk the rest of the way home in silence.   
  
***  
  
Xander is standing at his window, looking out onto the dark street below and thinking about how things have been going pretty well for him lately. He's a foreman now. Not only does that come with a hefty pay raise, it also comes with heaping helping of long overdue respect. He's gotten himself a sweet new car to go with the fancy new suits he wears to work. And hey, he's still got the nice apartment... that he shares with... nobody.  
  
His best friend is still a jillion miles away in England, detoxing from EVIL. His ex-girlfriend went back to being a man-hating vengeance demon. His most hated enemy has insinuated himself back into their lives. And he's drinking alone again.   
  
He shortens his gaze and speaks softly to the reflection of himself in the window pane. "Good to know success hasn't changed me much."  
  
"Xander!" Angel's face suddenly pops up in the corner of the window. Xander yelps quite loudly and reels back, tripping over the ottoman. On the floor, with his eyes bulging, Xander props himself up on elbows and looks back at the window.   
  
Angel is still there, standing in his bushes, peering in at him and tapping lightly on the glass. "Xander! Let me in, we need to talk."  
  
Xander shakes his head, violently. "No. No way man, I've seen this movie."   
  
Angel looks irritated. "I just want to talk to you. I'm not EVIL!"   
  
"Tell your story walkin!" Xander tries to shout, but his voice cracks. "I'm tired of dealing with the both of you. Think you're so great just because you have souls. I've always had a soul. Anyone congratulate me? NO! Hey Xander, you've never killed anyone... great job! Keep up the good work. You're a real non-killing people kind of guy!"  
  
Xander sees a look on Angel's face that he's never seen before. "So, it's true?" Angel asks this question so quietly that it's difficult for Xander to hear through the thin glass.  
  
Xander thinks about closing the drapes on him for a split second before standing up and going to the door. Angel walks around to the front and waits for the magic words.  
  
Xander appears in the door way. "Come in, vampire. I enjoy being ill at ease in my own home."  
  
Angel looks Xander over and follows him into the apartment. Once inside, Angel turns to him with a smirk on his face. "You're drunk."  
  
"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" Xander plops into a chair and holds his beer out to Angel. "I know it's not your preferred beverage, but there's more in the fridge if you want."  
  
"No thanks. I'm good." After a beat, Angel opens his mouth to speak, then breathes out, saying nothing. He starts to pace back and forth, trying to find the perfect question to start with.   
  
Xander watches him closely. After a few minutes of nothing, Xander remarks, "Listen, I'm cool with you wanting to talk, but it'll be a lot easier for me if you do it out loud."  
  
***  
  
Spike returns to his place, which can only be described as a cell, behind the boiler room in the basement of Sunnydale High. He has a mattress on the floor in one corner which he scrounged from the junkyard. Covering the mattress, thankfully, is a set of squeaky clean sheets. Spike smiles as he remembers Dawn, standing at his door with the neat little folded pile in her hands and trying to look indifferent.   
  
"They even give prisoners clean sheets," she reasoned. "And that mattress is nasty. I know you can't get a disease, but still. I can't be sitting in class thinking of you rolling around on all those... stains" Dawn shivered in disgust. It took a lot to gross her out, but this did the job nicely. "I'll probably come by once a week to wash them... I need the practice for home ec." She shoved the sheets at him and quickly walked away without even saying good-bye.   
  
Spike still wonders if Dawn even has a home ec class.   
  
In another corner of the room there is a very small TV/VCR which Spike stole from the A/V room upstairs. There are power cords running up the wall and into a small hole in the ceiling. Over the last century, Spike has become an expert at stealing electricity. It is a skill that really comes in handy.   
  
On one of her very infrequent visits, Buffy saw the TV and scolded that he shouldn't be stealing from kids.  
  
"Especially A/V geeks," she added. "You just never know what wronging them will lead to." Sadly, she wasn't exactly joking.  
  
"After all the things I've done in my life, a little stealing out of necessity isn't going to keep me up nights, Slayer. It sort of pales in comparison to the century I spent murdering people." Buffy looked away, uncomfortable with his raw honesty. "The reason I took the bloody thing in the first place is so I wouldn't have to fall asleep listening to my own brain. I'm pretty sure I can be of more use if I'm not, you know, rat-buggering crazy, but if it means that much to you I'll--"  
  
"Okay." Buffy stopped him. "I get the picture, Mr. Emotional. Just keep the damn TV. Now come on, we have work to do."   
  
That was the last time she was in this room. A week ago.   
  
Tonight, Spike can still smell her.   
  
He drops into bed and immediately flicks on the TV. Nothing on but infomercials at this hour, but they'll have to do. He decides on a channel, turns up the volume, then closes his eyes and settles in for a night's sleep. He drifts off slowly as the salesman on TV drones on about how vacuu-suck storage bags not only triple your storage space, they keep your winter sweaters smelling fresh and clean.  
  
***  
  
Angel is drunk.   
  
He is lying on Xander's floor, staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly, Xander's head appears over him, upside down.  
  
"You okay, man?"  
  
"Don't throw up on me."   
  
"But then what will we do for entertainment?" Xander makes an exaggerated frowny face.  
  
Angel sits up -- a bit too quickly -- and feels the room spin. "Ugh!" He holds his head for a minute then slowly crawls over to the sofa and hoists himself into it. He takes a few minutes to get his bearings, then levels his eyes at Xander who is grinning at him.  
  
"You're enjoying this, huh?"  
  
Xander makes with the big eyes. "Enjoying what?"  
  
Angel shakes his head. He's not even going to dignify that. "I came here thinking I was gonna find out how Spike was tricking you all into believing he had a soul. Then, I was gonna find him, beat the crap out of him, foil this ridiculous scam of his... and go home."  
  
Xander says nothing.  
  
"Then, I get here. And you start reading from this melodramatic romance novel about a slayer and the vampire who loves her... and it doesn't take me long to notice that the leading man of this particular story is not me. It is, in fact, the absolute worst person it could ever possibly be."  
  
"Amen to that, brother." Xander affirms.   
  
The men sigh in unison, then are quiet for a moment until Angel asks, "You really trust that Anya girl? The one who saw the soul in Spike? I mean, I only met her once, but she is a demon."  
  
Xander is suddenly very serious. "I trust her. But she was really just the one to confirm it. Everyone noticed something different about Spike right away. Even me, and I friggin' hate the guy. Believe me, I'm the last person looking for the good in Spike."  
  
Angel lets his head fall back into the couch cushions, unsure of how much more of this he could take.   
  
Xander notices the pain on the vampire's face, but continues anyway. Maybe Angel is right. He might be enjoying this... just a little.  
  
"When Buffy found Spike at the school he was all crazy... tortured or whatever. I don't know. I thought it was an act at first, but if you saw his eyes... you could just tell. Then, he started helping us and I was like, 'Oh, here we go. This is the part where he's gonna stake a few vamps and expect us to fall all over ourselves with gratitude and forgiveness.' But every night after the festivities were over, he would just leave. All quiet... like he was Clint Eastwood, showing up to nobly save the townsfolk from the evil miners and then riding off into the sunset before they discovered his mysterious past."  
  
Angel lifts his head and looks at Xander, annoyed.  
  
"I may have put too much thought into this."   
  
"You think?" Angel snarks. He grabs a pillow from he couch and throws it at Xander.  
  
Xander catches it and holds on to it for a long while, practicing a question in his head. Finally, he asks it. "So... you gonna see Buffy while you're here?"   
  
Angel does not respond... because he has passed out.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Angel awakens to blackness. His eyes are open wide but there is nothing to see. Nothing but the heavy, suffocating darkness before him. He hears a strange sound, a bubbling... and what sounds like crunching, coming from very close by. WHAM! Angel punches into the darkness and it immediately crumples away. In it's place gleams the bright burning light of the sun. "AHHHHH!!" He leaps up from the couch, pausing for a moment to look at the dark blanket that had been covering him. He glances around for shelter from the sun and dives toward a shadowy nook in the corner. From his position on the floor, he looks up to find Xander, standing at the kitchen counter, watching him with mild curiosity.   
  
"Mornin'" Xander says around a mouth full of toast.   
  
It takes a minute for Angel to figure out where he is. Finally he stands, all groggy, hung over and pissed off. "You couldn't have closed the drapes?"   
  
"I tried. One side is jammed or something. I didn't want to wake you up so I just covered you. ...You're welcome."  
  
Angel just grumbles something incoherent.  
  
"You want some coffee?"   
  
Coffee. Coffee is good, perhaps I won't kill him. Angel goes to kitchen, careful to sidestep the panel of sunlight on the floor. He takes the freshly poured mug from Xander. "Thanks."  
  
"Welcome. Want some toast? It's the only thing I know how to make."  
  
Angel laughs a little. "No, that's all right. What time is it?"  
  
"Almost eleven-thirty."  
  
There is a pause. Then, working hard for a nonchalant tone, Angel asks, "Do you know how to get to the tunnels under the Magic Box?"  
  
Xander stops chewing and swallows hard. "Why?"  
  
Angel doesn't look at him, he just stares into his mug. "Buffy's meeting Spike in the tunnels underneath at noon."  
  
A great big grin breaks out on Xander's face. This is going to be a FUN day! "Just give me five minutes and I'll take you there myself."   
  
After looking Xander over a minute, trying not to guess why he's so damn happy, Angel nods a thank you. He takes a sip of coffee and grimaces as he swallows. "This is terrible!"  
  
Xander takes a sip from his own cup and then looks down at it. After a beat, he dumps it down the sink. "Yeah, I don't know how to make coffee. Let's just go."  
  
The two men are about ready to leave when Angel stops.  
  
"Wait. Xander... I uh... this is embarrassing, but... I haven't had any blood since yesterday afternoon. Do you think it'd be okay if I..."  
  
Xander pales visibly and takes a step back.  
  
"I don't have to bite your neck, we could just use your finger or something. It wouldn't even hurt, it would just be like a... like a blood sugar test. I promise not to take too much. Normally I wouldn't even ask, but I'm just SO HUNGRY!"  
  
"I... I don't know if that's such a..." Xander is moving slowly backward, trying to subtly look around for a stake. "...maybe... maybe we can find a butcher or something on the way... I'm sure... I mean, it's not like I don't want to help you out, but..."  
  
Angel can't hold on any longer. His serious expression cracks into a smile and he bursts out laughing, slapping Xander on the back. "You haven't changed one bit, man! You are so funny!"   
  
The fear does not exactly drain from Xander's face as he smiles and laughs it off. "Yeah... you got me! Ha!"  
  
"Come on, let's go." Angel plows ahead, leaving Xander behind. It doesn't take long for fear to become anger. "Yeah, real funny." He opens a drawer and pulls out a stake. "Let's see how funny you think it is when I'm dust busting you out of my car, Dead Boy!"  
  
"I heard that!" Angel pops back in and Xander jumps. "You'd never stake me."  
  
"Yes I would," Xander counters in a high-pitched voice.  
  
"Nahh, you wouldn't. Come on. We're gonna be late." Angel is gone again.  
  
Xander follows him out, glowering and mumbling under his breath. "I hope she kicks your ass."  
  
"I heard that too!" Angel calls out, cheerfully.   
  
Xander follows, entertaining the idea that Spike might not be such a bad guy after all.  
  
***  
  
Spike is sitting on a rock in the tunnels, waiting for Buffy. He's drawing pictures in the dirt with the back end of the axe he brought. A lightening bolt... he messes that up, smoothes the dirt. A box with a hand coming out of it.... he messes that up, smooths. A skull with hearts for eyes... he messes that up. He smiles to himself as he smooths out the dirt. He's having fun with his primitive etch-a-sketch. Now what? Lets see. He draws a straight line and stares at it. He turns it into the letter B. He stops, stares at it. He draws a "u" then an "f"...  
  
"You're early."   
  
The minute he hears Buffy's voice, Spike quickly messes up the smooth dirt where he was writing.   
  
"Uh... yeah... I, uh... yeah." Spike is thrown. She could have caught him writing her name like a lovesick schoolboy. That would have been bad. They're supposed to be business partners now. If she knew his feelings for her were still as strong as ever, even stronger, she might not let him help her anymore. He's resigned himself to the fact that they will never be together, but if he can't help her... well... that's not an acceptable situation. He'll just have to be more careful.  
  
"You okay?" She peers at him, knowing something is weird.   
  
"I'm fine. Little groggy, maybe. Hard to get a decent night's sleep with that bloody janitor banging around before the sun is even up."   
  
Buffy looks him over and nods, not quite buying the act. "Your cut is better."  
  
"Huh? Oh..." Spike touches the healing cut above his eye. "Yeah. I'd almost forgotten about it. Right... feels better too."   
  
Awkward silence bounces off the tunnel walls. Neither of them know how to have a conversation with each other anymore. When Dawn is around it's easier, but when they're alone... weirdness.   
  
Say something! Buffy's mind screams at her.   
  
"Uhh... so, I was thinking... this Ugreda demon likes water, right? And there's all those pumps down under the Sunnydale water and power building... so I figure that's where we should be headed."  
  
Spike stands and brushes himself off. He kicks at the dirt in front of him again, just in case. "Yeah, good thinking. He won't be expecting us this time of day for starters, and if he's in the water he'll be asleep. Easy pickins for us."   
  
Buffy notices a disappointed look cross Spike's face at that last comment.  
  
"Well, I think it's about time something was easy for us, don't you?" She freezes. That came out kind of... about something else. Their eyes meet and Spike immediately drops his to the ground. Yep, he's thinking the same thing. Weirdness abounds. Time for damage control. "I mean, the hellmouth's been partying a little too hard lately. I'm kinda looking forward to a slow day."   
  
"I s'pose you're right." Spike is equal parts relieved and disappointed.   
  
A few days after Anya "outed" him as a soul man, Buffy came to him. She was very cold and firm and said only three things: "I don't want an apology, it won't change anything. We both did things we shouldn't forgive each other for... but I'm going to need your help." She left quickly, without another word, and that was the last time the subject of their once-volatile intimate relationship was ever brought up.   
  
Spike retrieves his axe. Maybe some day they won't have to avoid this issue like the plague. Today is not that day, so back to business. "Okay. Lets get on with it, then."  
  
Buffy relaxes. "Okay, I think it's this way, come on." She starts off in one direction.   
  
Spike takes her gently by the arm. "No." He quickly drops his hand when he realizes what he's doing. "Uh... no, it's left."  
  
Too late. Buffy has registered the touch... every nerve sparking millisecond of it. She turns away from him to look down the left side of the tunnel and to catch her breath without him seeing. "Um... no, I don't think so. I don't think it's down that way."  
  
"The water and power building? It's right down that tunnel about three quarters of a mile." Spike gestures toward where she's looking. He is a little too close. She turns and backs away a little, angry at herself for having this reaction to him.  
  
"No, You're confused."   
  
"Yes. Often. But not about this. We go left." Apparently a soul is no cure for Spike's hair trigger exasperation.  
  
Buffy frowns at him. "Don't be all 'we go left' at me. I'm in charge here and I'm telling you it's THIS way." She emphatically gestures right.  
  
"You stubborn git! Why can't you just trust me? I know these tunnels much better than you do and you know it!"  
  
"What have I told you about calling me weird British things?! I KNOW what that word means!"   
  
"Well you are a stubborn git and you're leading us the wrong way! Normally, I'd humor you, but if you get us lost, we'll miss the bloody demon!"   
  
"Oh you'd humor me?"  
  
"You heard what I said!"  
  
That throws Buffy off her game a second. She regroups. "What do you care, anyway? You're all up for fun and games! God forbid we should kill something that hasn't beaten the crap out of us for an hour first!"  
  
"Well it's better than drowning the poor sod while he sleeps so you can get back to the exciting world of peer counseling!"  
  
"Now you have a problem with my job?"  
  
"THIS is your job!"  
  
"Oh really, Sir Giles the Second? Look, you can flash that shiny new soul of yours all you want, but you don't get to tell me how to run my life. You are NOT my watcher!"  
  
"Oh right, and where is he now? Off on horseback in the mother country, trotting about like a nance? You're better off listening to me, anyway. Maybe if I were your watcher you wouldn't have DIED so many bloody times!"   
  
Spike and Buffy are now almost nose to nose, glaring at each other.  
  
Quite unexpectedly, Buffy bursts out laughing. Man, has she missed this. A good shouting match is just what they needed to break through the rest of that cold, hard ice. She is full of giddy relief.   
  
She looks up at Spike who is staring down at her with the dumbest look on his face. She laughs so hard she has to sit down. Finally, Spike feels it, that tension in the air is just floating away. Slowly, his frown slides into a grin and he starts to laugh with her, softly. He sits down next to her as her laughter peters out with a few breathy giggles. They sit shoulder to shoulder, without looking at each other, and they talk quietly.  
  
"So..." Buffy sniffs, wiping at a teary eye, "...left, then?"   
  
"If you think that's best," Spike grins.  
  
Buffy bumps him gently with her shoulder. "You still bug the hell out of me, you realize this?"  
  
"Wouldn't be me if I didn't." Spike laughs.  
  
"No, it wouldn't. I'm... I'm glad you're still you."   
  
This catches him totally off guard. He looks over to find Buffy looking back at him, a soft expression on her face. He inhales sharply and can feel himself shaking. Hope. That's hope he's feeling and it's a stupid and pointless emotion. Get up. Move away. This isn't what you want it to be.   
  
"We should... get going." Spike stands and gains some composure, trying to get back into work mode. Buffy can see that he is shaking. She has to fight, and fight hard, the urge to take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. They've both been through hell together and up until this moment she wasn't sure they were going to make it out again. But he didn't push and she doesn't want to either.  
  
She hops to her feet. "Okay, lead the way Tunnel Man."  
  
Before they can get even a few of steps, Spike stops and tilts his head, listening. Walking behind him, Buffy almost collides into his back when he stops short.  
  
"What is it?"   
  
"Shhh. There's something... someone coming this way." Spike scans the tunnel. His nostrils flair, picking up the scent. Buffy notices this and makes a face.  
  
"And he has B.O?"  
  
"I'm serious! And shut up! Can't you be stealthy for once?"   
  
Buffy hides a smile. She's still getting used to Action Spike. Sometimes it's hard to take him seriously. Which is not to say that she doesn't enjoy it just a little bit. She catches herself watching him as he moves and finds that she is appreciating it a little too much. She looks away, hot-faced. That is not on the program. They're partners and tonight they took a step closer to becoming friends in their own bizarre way, but that's where it has to end.   
  
Still, she can't resist taking another good look.  
  
Spike is oblivious to this. He's in hunt mode. Slowly, they move toward the opening in the tunnel that Buffy came through earlier. "There are two of them," Spike says quietly. "A human and... a vampire...  
  
Now Buffy can hear footsteps. She pulls a stake from her jacket and readies herself for action. A few tense moments later, Xander and Angel step casually into the tunnel.  
  
Spike takes one look at Angel and deflates. "...a big, fat, stupid vampire."  
  
"Angel?" Buffy is in total shock. "What the hell?" She looks at Xander. "Is everything okay? What's going on?  
  
Angel immediately gets into Spike's face, almost totally ignoring Buffy. "That's what I'd like to know."  
  
"Afternoon, Grandad." Spike doesn't back down. It's almost as though he's been waiting for this. "Nice of you to pop by--"  
  
"What did you do to yourself, Spike?"  
  
The corner of Spike's mouth twitches and he gets that wonderfully playful look in his eyes. "Well, that's kind of a personal question, isn't it?"   
  
Angel grabs Spike by the jacket and shakes him violently. "Tell me!"  
  
"HEY! Get off!" Buffy pushes Angel away from Spike so hard that both vampires fall to the ground.   
  
Buffy immediately reaches out to Spike to help him up. "Sorry. You alright?"  
  
Spike is nothing short of amazed that she came to his rescue, especially in front of His Holiness. He plays it casually. "Never better, luv. Thanks."   
  
When he is on his feet, Buffy leans in, painfully close, and murmurs, "He seems really mad. Try not to be an ass."  
  
"I'll give it my best, pet, but I can't make any promises."   
  
"I'm not kidding, Spike. If you die today I'll be really pissed at you." She looks up at him, eyes wide and sincere. His heart soars. She's really worried about him. He smiles softly, trying to cover for the fact that he may pass out from emotional overload. She smiles back. Finally, they realize that their hands are still clasped. They pull away slowly and awkwardly.  
  
Angel gets to his feet, unable to rip his eyes away from Buffy and Spike who seem to be way too close and having some kind of "moment." He turns to Xander. "I thought you said they were all business now."  
  
Xander is startled by this. He was also watching Buffy and Spike. "Well... I don't know. They... he... here she comes."  
  
Buffy stops in front of Xander who winces, feeling her wrath. "Why'd you bring him here?"  
  
"I asked him to," Angel answers.  
  
She turns her attention to Angel. "Why? What do you want?"  
  
Angel wrinkles his brow at her. "What are you so mad about?"  
  
Good question. What is she so mad about? "I'm mad because... you just think you can come barreling in here while we're working and rough everybody up--"  
  
"Working! Right. I heard about all the WORKING you two have been doing together." Angel looks at Spike who is now standing behind Buffy and glaring fiercely.  
  
Buffy whirls on Xander. "What did you tell him?"   
  
Xander stutters out a few incomprehensible noises before Angel saves him with, "It's not like I wouldn't be able to see it for myself."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Buffy puts her hands on her hips.  
  
Angel looks over Buffy's head and fixes his gaze on Spike. "What was it you said that time, Spike, about me and Buffy making googly eyes at each other?" He looks back into Buffy's eyes. "He was talking about us at the time but I guess you've traded down."  
  
Buffy is too stunned to speak.  
  
"God, Buffy! Spike!? What the hell could you possibly be thinking? I thought you were smarter than that! I thought you were--"  
  
"Hey!" Spike has had enough. "You've got no bloody right to talk to her that way! You skipped out of her life as soon as things got a bit dodgy so you don't get to just pop back in and tell her what she's done wrong since then!"  
  
Angel pokes a finger at Spike, "You just keep your mouth shut. I don't know what you're up to exactly, but you're not part of this conversation right now."  
  
Spike's eyes go wide. He is outraged. "Who the hell do you think you are?"   
  
"Well, who the hell do you think YOU are?" This is from Xander. Everyone looks at him. "Seriously, Spike. Maybe Angel doesn't have the right to talk to Buffy like that, but you don't have the right to stand there defending her like some hero. Not after what you've done."  
  
Spike doesn't have much of a response to that, but he can feel Buffy growing uncomfortable and tries to deflect. "Well, we all know that no one can measure up to the great Xander Harris and his..." Spike uses air quotes, "...brotherly affection toward the slayer. But I'm just trying to get hairdo here," Spike jerks a thumb toward Angel, "to lay off a bit. Especially since he's been gone for THREE years and has no idea what the hell he's talking about!"  
  
The two vampires glare at each other while Xander looks on, fuming at Spike's sarcastic delivery of "brotherly affection."   
  
Then, abruptly, Buffy pushes through all three of them and takes off running down the tunnel. The guys watch her for a minute, completely non-plussed, until they see that the Ugreda Demon has apparently been roused from it's nap by all the yelling and it is now sloshing off for a spot of mid-day killing. The men look back at each other for a brief moment then take off after Buffy, shoving each other out of the way as they go.  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Wham!   
  
Buffy is thrown into a wall. She has caught up to the Ugreda Demon well before the three idiots and is already getting her ass kicked. This demon is large and very strong. But Buffy has rage. Lot's of it. She pushes herself off the wall, levels her eyes at the demon and stalks toward him as her mouth slides up into an evil grin. He's going to be her therapy.  
  
She spins around and kicks the demon square in the face, sending him flying. She goes after him immediately, but by the time she reaches him, he is standing again and socks her in the stomach with his club-like fist. Buffy doubles over and the demon makes a noise that sounds a bit like laughter. Evil laughter, of course.   
  
"Oh you think that's funny?"  
  
She bounces up and opens fire with her fists, battering his head violently from side to side. He's a little stunned by her strength. And now he remembers her from last night's battle.  
"I don't hear your soggy ass laughing now!"  
  
The demon lashes out, just trying to get her to stop hitting him for a second. He manages to connect, hard, and knocks her away from him. She stumbles a bit, but doesn't fall. As soon as she gets her balance, she turns and is about to lay into him again when Angel pushes her out of the way and starts wailing on the demon, himself.  
  
Buffy seems annoyed. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Angel stops punching and turns to her, confused. "Helping you! Oof!" He gets nailed in the side of the face by Mr. Ugreda and is sent sprawling.  
  
She looks down at him with a blank expression. "Thanks."  
  
Spike shows up just in time to see Angel get knocked on his ass. He is extremely amused. Xander brings up the rear, out of breath but ready to fight. Buffy ignores them all and starts going to work on the demon again. Angel gets up and tries to get in on the fight, but can't seem to find an opening.  
  
"Leave her be, Angel. She's a big girl now, she can handle herself." Spike leans against a wall and watches Buffy, proudly.   
  
Angel can see the unmasked adoration in Spike's eyes and doesn't like it one little bit. "So what did you come for? The view?"   
  
"I'm here in case she needs me. Oh, but I guess you're not familiar with that concept, are you?"   
  
Oooh. That cut deep. Just as Angel looks about ready to tear Spike's head off, they hear Buffy cry out in pain. The demon has kicked her hard in the side when she wasn't protecting herself. Xander is already there to help but get's knocked out of the way quite easily. Spike moves to step in but Angel pushes him roughly against the wall. "She doesn't need YOU." He turns toward Buffy, ignoring Spike's stunned expression.   
  
"Buffy! Are you all righ--" Buffy turns to look at Angel and the demon uses the distraction as an opportunity to kick her again in the same spot.   
  
"Oh, you asshole!" Buffy screams, pain standing out on her face. It's not clear if she's talking to Angel or the Demon.  
  
Now Angel is pissed. He attacks the demon with brute force, punching and kicking and growling like a bull dog. The demon falters but does not fall. Buffy and Spike exchange a look.   
  
Struggling, but angry, and getting increasingly desperate, the Ugreda demon slams his fist into Angel's jaw, hard enough to knock him right out of vamp face. Angel is surprised. He tries to shake it off but Ugreda is on him. He's not fast but he hits hard and Angel can't seem to figure out how to take back the advantage. Suddenly a calm, conversational voice interrupts all the snarling.  
  
"It's not that disagree with you, necessarily, but my partner seems to have something against you killing this wanker. So, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave off."   
  
Both Angel and the curious demon turn to see Spike standing there with his axe slung over one shoulder. Ugreda gives Spike the once over and emits that low Jaba-the-Hut-like chuckle again. Spike grins in response. Suddenly, the demon lunges at him but Spike is lightening fast and whacks him across the face with the side of the axe. The force of it spins the demon around so that he is now standing face to face with Buffy, who is also grinning. She holds up her hand and Spike deftly tosses her the axe which she swings hard and swiftly chops off the Ugreda demon's head. It rolls for a bit, finally coming to a stop at Xander's feet. It's wide, surprised eyes stare up at him.   
  
"Don't look at me, you brought this on yourself," Xander tells the head before stepping over it to join the others.   
  
Buffy hands the axe back to Spike. "Thanks."  
  
"You all right?" Spike asks softly.  
  
"I'll live," she responds, holding her side.   
  
Xander walks up with a bloodied lip and Spike looks him over. "What about you? You've gotten a bit of an ouchie for your troubles."   
  
"I think my tooth is loose." Xander opens his mouth and presses at one of his bottom teeth. "Auk!"   
  
Both Buffy and Spike squint at it. "Nah, you're fine," Spike knocks him good-naturedly on the shoulder. The boy is a nuisance most of the time, but he sure has balls. Spike can respect him for that. He'll never tell him, of course. "You lasted almost three seconds that time. Very impressive."  
  
"Kiss my ass, fang." Xander's rancor is only halfhearted. He can't hate the guy forever. Can he?  
  
Angel is looks on, trying to absorb it all. He's pretty shocked by how well Buffy and Spike fought together. It seemed like they didn't even have to talk to each other. They just... trusted... that the other would be there at the right moment with the right move. When and how did this happen? Suddenly, Angel's mind flashes to a time when their impressive teamwork helped buy him a round trip ticket to hell. If they could do that as enemies, what must they be capable of now that they're... He pushes that thought away and then realizes that Buffy is looking at him. "What?"  
  
"I said are you all right?" Buffy's tone is still cold and Angel is starting to feel very much like an outsider.   
  
"I'm fine." He walks toward her but can't help staring at Spike who is back to reassuring Xander that his tooth is not going to fall out.  
  
Buffy notices him looking and pulls Angel aside. "Look... he's changed a lot. I don't know what you heard from Xander--"  
  
"I heard it all. More than I wanted to hear, trust me."   
  
To her own surprise, Buffy is not ashamed. "Well, a lot's happened since you left."   
  
"I kinda got that." Uncomfortable silence. Angel can't look into her eyes. "So... I mean, what's the deal? Do you..." She tenses, knowing what question is coming. "Do you love him?"  
  
"You still here?" Spike's voice startles them both. Buffy exhales. Angel suspects the interruption is no coincidence.   
  
"I'm not leaving till I find out what happened to you."   
  
"Got a soul," Spike says flatly.   
  
"It's not possible."  
  
"Why? Because it's not YOU? Can you possibly get over yourself for five seconds? I'd have thought you'd be glad to have another convert walking around, taking some of the pressure off of you and this whole solitary atonement bit you've got going... or maybe..." Spike peers at Angel, trying to read him. "What, are you jealous?"  
  
Angel laughs bitterly. "Jealous of WHAT? So you went and got yourself cursed. Congratulations, you're in the club."   
Spike's lips curve up into the softest smile, he's going to enjoy this moment forever. "It's not a curse, Angel."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Not. A Curse."   
  
Spike pauses and lets it sink in. There is nothing but confusion on Angel's face.   
  
"Turns out... they'll hand out a soul to any bloke can withstand a few bothersome tests."  
  
This is the first Buffy is hearing of this, so she is wildly interested. Xander, less so, but he's listening and ready to debunk. "What kind of tests?"  
  
Spike shrugs. "Couple a' demons, a guy with fists of fire... bugs."   
  
"Bugs?" Buffy's winces.  
  
"Yeah." He realizes how intently she's listening. It shames him to think he's bragging about it in front of her. He never even wanted her to know this part of the story. He goes on, but without the swagger. "Yeah, the bugs were the worst. They crawled up my nose. That's... I didn't like that."  
  
Angel is completely silent. He can think of absolutely nothing to say.  
  
Xander can. "Wait a minute... so you're saying there's no curse? That you can... I mean, if you... it won't... there's no..."   
  
"Xander, everything you're about to say is inappropriate." Buffy warns. She sounds okay but her mind is reeling. She had just assumed it was some form of the same curse. He never told her...  
  
Xander backs off, shifting his eyes from Spike to Buffy and back again, a worry line forming on his brow.   
  
Angel is way past worry. "It's not true. It can't be. I would have known about it."  
  
"Why? Did you look for it?"   
  
Buffy and Xander both look at Angel. He doesn't respond.  
  
Spike already knows the answer and it infuriates him. "Did you even try? It took me two hours and quarter tank of gas on the bike to get the information I needed."   
  
Angel glances at Buffy. She's watching him very closely.   
  
  
Spike's voice cracks with emotion. "She loved you so much! You had her heart, you had everything! Did you do everything you could to hold on to it? Or did you just give up on her and sulk off like the tragic waste of space that you are, without even bothering to look for another option?"  
  
There is no response.   
  
"How could you just walk away?! You bloody imbecile!"  
  
"Okay, that's enough." Xander grabs Spike by the arm but he pulls away, roughly.  
  
"Get off!" He turns his attention back to Angel. "If she loved me even half as much as she loves you, I would--"   
  
Angel hauls off and clocks Spike in the face, knocking him back a few steps. Spike was waiting for this. He grins and comes after Angel, fists flying. Angel vamps out and lashes back, reopening the cut above Spike's eye. Spike just laughs and vamps out himself before ramming Angel face first into the wall.   
  
Angel jerks his head back and knocks Spike off of him with a hard thocking of skulls. He turns and throws Spike to the other side of the tunnel. Spike lands hard but gets up with the help of the wall behind him. He's too angry to notice that he is now bleeding from several different places on his face. Angel, fairly bloody himself, starts to charge toward him. Spike is simply waiting for him, "That's right, Peaches. Come and get me."  
  
Before Angel reaches Spike he is pushed violently to the ground by Buffy. It effectively stops the fight. Angel looks up at her with hurt-filled eyes until he realizes he is still in vamp face and turns away abruptly.   
  
Buffy just shakes her head at him, disgusted, then looks over at Spike who is also still in vamp face. Her eyes are full of pain. He realizes how much he has just hurt her and feels like dying. "Buffy... I'm... I'm sorry.. I..."  
  
"I'm going home."  
  
She turns to leave, but gets only a few steps away before passing out from the intense pain of her badly broken ribs.   
  
***  
Slowly, the world is coming into focus. Her house. Her room. Dawn's face.   
  
"How's the patient?" Dawn chirps.  
  
"Dawn? What... ow." Buffy decides not to sit up after all. "What time is it?"  
  
"Nine."  
  
"In the morning or at night?"  
  
"Morning," she laughs. "Those must be some good drugs the doctor gave you."  
  
"Doctor?" Buffy thinks a minute. She remembers the broken ribs, the emergency room, the three men fighting over who would carry her there. "Ohh yeah. Where are they?"   
  
"Pacing the living room like you're gonna have their baby or something." Dawn giggles.  
  
Buffy frowns. "Dawn. So not funny."  
  
"Sorry. Couldn't resist. Which one do you want to see first? Oh. And be careful who you choose because it might start another brawl."   
  
Buffy squeezes her forehead, the drugs are making it harder to think. "Have they been fighting all night?"   
  
"Pretty much, but I act all innocent and childlike, so they keep the violence to a minimum. Nothing got broken."   
  
Buffy inhales deeply and then gasps out what would have been a sigh if not for the sharp, jabbing pain in her side. When's the slayer healing going to kick in, dammit!  
  
"Help me stand up."   
  
"The doctor said you shouldn't walk around too much."   
  
Buffy gives Dawn a look.   
  
"Okay, but don't blame me if you pass out again."  
  
Very slowly, Dawn assists Buffy to her feet and helps her put a shirt on over her tank top. They are about to go downstairs when Buffy catches sight of herself in the mirror. "HOLY GOD!" Her hair is standing on end, her make up is smudged everywhere and it looks like her eyes are swollen. "I can't go down there like this! Dawn, why didn't you tell me?!"  
  
"You're going down there to break some hearts, I figure it'd be easier on them if you looked ugly." Dawn struggles to keep a straight face.  
There is a stunned pause before Buffy breaks out into a short, but painful laugh. "Oh! Oh! Don't make me laugh. Just help me." She gently sits at her vanity while Dawn grabs a brush.   
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5   
  
Spike is pacing the floor of Buffy's living room. Xander sits on the sofa, bouncing his leg nervously. Angel is sprawled out in a chair, playing with a stake. He's making stabbing gestures at the arm of the chair. Suddenly, his anger gets away from him and he jabs harder than he means to. There is a tearing sound as the stake penetrates. the fabric of the chair. Angel's eyes pop. Whoops.  
  
Xander looks over at him, mouth open. What the hell did you just do?   
  
I... I didn't mean to... I was just--  
  
Spike storms over to examine the damaged chair. Oh, that's just brilliant! Is this how you're going to get back at me? By tearing the Slayer's house apart?  
  
Shut up, Spike. I'm not the one slowly wearing a groove into her living room floor!   
  
You staked the chair! Xander shouts, still in shock.  
  
I didn't mean to!   
  
Bloody idiot.  
  
SHUT UP!  
  
The two vampires glare at Xander. He shrinks a little. Dawn said to keep it down.  
  
Spike is about to argue that he's not the one causing the ruckus, but exhales heavily instead. What's the point? He shakes his head and sits down next to Xander. All three glower darkly at anything but each other. Xander's leg is now bouncing at an alarming pace. After a moment or two of tense silence, Spike reaches out puts a firm hand on Xander's knee. Xander frowns at him, but stops with the bouncing anyway. More silence and glowering ensues.  
  
Finally...  
  
Why don't you just leave already. Spike doesn't look up, but it's clear he's talking to Angel.   
  
I want to make sure she's okay.  
  
She''s the bloody Slayer, of course she's okay.   
  
That's not what I mean.   
  
Spike meets Angel's eyes. The accusation is clear.   
  
Spike gets very calm. What' s bothering you specifically? The fact that I might hurt her as much as you did? Or the fact that I might be ABLE to hurt her as much as you did?  
  
Xander barks out a surprised laugh. That was a low blow. And also... entertaining.  
  
Why is that funny? Angel frowns at Xander. Now you're on his side?  
  
Very seriously, Xander says, I'm on Buffy's side.  
  
The two vampires groan loudly and roll their eyes in unison.  
  
What? Somebody has to be.  
  
Is that why you were so happy to take me down to the tunnels yesterday? You were doing it for Buffy? Angel drags that last sentence out, mocking.  
  
No response. Spike leans back into the couch and takes a good long look at an uncomfortable Xander while Angel continues.   
  
Or were you hoping that Spike and I would kill each other? Because then there wouldn't be anymore pesky vampires to stand in the way of Buffy falling in love with loyal old you.   
  
You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Xander grumbles. His leg starts bouncing again.   
  
Angel scoffs, You've been in love with her since day one.  
  
Xander stammers incomprehensibly. Spike smirks at him. That's why you left poor old Anya standing at the altar. Everybody knows it. Just give it up already.  
  
Xander is starting to freak a little. You... you two are just turning on me now so you don't have to face the fact that neither of you deserve her!   
  
Spike smiles softly, a little sadly. No, I'm perfectly aware that I don't deserve her. He looks over at Angel. And he doesn't think he deserves anything, so your argument's a bit thin, I'd say.  
  
Before Xander's head can explode, Dawn appears.  
  
Ground rules, fellas.   
  
All three of them sit up a little straighter. Dawn is pretty proud of herself for taming the wild man-beasts, but forces herself not to smile. She's coming down. But only if you promise to adhere to the rules.  
  
Xander leans forward. Okay. What are they?  
  
She speaks first. When she's done, she'll ask one of you to speak. There will be no talking over, no yelling, no sulking and definitely no punching. Everyone will get the chance to have their say. Unless their say is taking too long and making everyone crazy.  
  
Why did you look at me when you said that? Spike demands, looking stricken.  
  
Hey, I'm just the messenger. These are her words. Maybe I'm just looking at you cause you're so DANG handsome. Dawn is clearly teasing.  
  
Xander and Angel snicker to themselves as Spike sulks.  
  
And no sulking! I thought I made that clear.  
  
Spike sits up, exasperated.   
As if she's leading a cheer, Dawn shouts. So, do we all agree to the rules?!  
  
A wave of downtrodden murmurs ripples through the room.   
  
Still in cheer mode, Dawn bounces over to the steps. Buffy, I've beaten them back for you. It's safe to come down now!  
  
In anticipation, Xander clears his throat and smoothes out his shirt. Spike tries to find a sitting position. Angel tries to check his hair out on the sly only to be snorted at by Spike. He shoots him a glare and then looks away. Now Spike is thinking of his own hair. He leans his elbow on the arm of the couch and manages to subtly smooth it out a little without being detected.  
  
Buffy comes down the stairs looking very beautiful and calm. She moves slowly and carefully, it's clear she's still in a lot of pain.  
  
When spike sees her he draws in a long breath. Being trapped in a small room all night with tweedle dee and tweedle dum was absolutely worth this moment... seeing Buffy again.  
  
She sits down in front of them.   
  
I heard you guys had a lively night. Buffy seems strangely relaxed.  
  
No one responds. They've been told not to speak unless called on.  
  
Buffy laughs quietly, then whimpers.  
  
Buffy, are you okay?  
Xander and Spike glare at Angel for breaking the rules and speaking first.  
  
I'm fine.  
  
There is a long, tense pause.  
  
Angel stabbed your chair. Spike announces suddenly.  
  
Buffy looks at him, nonplussed, then looks over at Angel.  
  
It was an accident. Angel sheepishly raises his arm to reveal the torn fabric.   
  
Buffy still doesn't get it, and doesn't really want to. She's just going to move on. Angel... why exactly did you come here?  
  
So he's up first. It's all right. He's prepared. Okay... well... this vampire came into my hotel, looking for the vampire with a soul...  
  
Sounds like the start of a bad joke, Spike snidely interrupts.  
  
Xander looks confused. You have a hotel?  
  
Dawn glares at them over Buffy's shoulder. They fall silent.  
  
Angel continues after giving them both a look. I assumed he was looking for me, but he said that I wasn't the vampire with the soul that he knew... and then he described this short, skinny, bleached hair monstrosity and naturally I thought of Spike.  
  
He grins at Spike who is squinting at him. Choosing to ignore the comment, Spike asks, What did this vamp look like?  
  
I don't know... kinda big... ugly. His name was Lenny.  
  
Lenny! Did you kill him?  
  
I was a little distracted.   
  
Spike is outraged. What are you, new? You ALWAYS kill them! What if he followed you here?   
  
Calmly, Buffy says, Then WE'LL kill him. And I believe Angel still has the floor.   
  
Spike shuts up, feeling a bit admonished although Buffy's tone was lighter and softer than usual.  
  
Buffy looks at Angel and he continues. So I didn't even know Spike was back in Sunnydale... you never told me...  
  
He waits for some kind of explanation from Buffy but gets nothing. As Angel continues, Spike looks at Buffy, a little curious.   
  
...anyway, I figured he was pulling some kind of scam. And I wanted to make sure he wasn't... that you guys were safe. Now Angel can't meet her eyes. Then I got here, and Xander... filled me in.  
  
Instead of looking embarrassed or sheepish, Buffy simply nods and shifts in her chair, looking at Xander. Xander starts a little, he's not yet ready for it to be his turn. Tough.  
  
Xander, why did you bring Angel to the tunnels?   
  
I... he... he asked how to get there and I figured it was better if I went along.  
  
Spike turns to Angel. How did you know we'd be there?   
  
The night before... I saw you in the graveyard.   
  
So you were watching us. Buffy says, still very calm. It's just a statement she's making, not an accusation.  
  
Angel takes it as an accusation. I wanted to see what was going on before I... obviously I was confused. So I went to Xander.   
  
Xander doesn't want to be the partner in crime here. I didn't even want to let him in! But he seemed kind of sad and just wanted to know what was happening. And when I brought him to the tunnels I didn't know he was gonna be all... confrontational.  
  
Buffy smiles at Xander. Are you actually trying to sell that story?   
  
Xander relents. All right. I thought it would kinda funny.   
  
And the reason you told Angel every tiny detail of my life now is why, exactly?  
  
Xander doesn't have an answer for that except... I was... I was kinda drunk.   
  
Buffy nods. Ahh. Okay... well. Next time you're drunk... tell your own life story.  
  
Xander looks hurt.   
  
Buffy sighs and shakes her head. Xander, I love you.   
  
All three men look a bit startled.   
  
Buffy continues. Your my best friend. But what went on between me and Spike-- She glances quickly at Spike and gets a bit flustered. -- it's between me and Spike. And that's it. I know you care about me and you're worried about me making a wrong decision.... but you have to back off, okay? And let me live my life.  
  
I'm sorry, Buffy. I am... but... Xander can't help himself. What he did to you...  
  
Xander. I know what he did.   
  
Spike starts to slip into a very dark mood, remembering.  
  
And thanks to you... everyone knows what he did... or what he tried to do. You told my sister without asking me, Anya... and now Angel? You had no right to do that. I don't care what justification you give it. It is not necessary for you to go around telling everyone something so personal to me. You bring it up all the time as though it happened to you! And I want it to stop! Now. You don't know the whole story. There are things you will never know, because they are NONE of your BUSINESS.  
  
The others react. Damn. Buffy's laying down the law. Spike is still in a dark place when he hears Xander apologize.  
  
I'm sorry, Buffy.   
  
I know.   
  
She turns back to Angel.   
  
And you.  
  
Me again?   
  
Spike looks up. Did he miss his turn?   
  
Buffy doesn't seem to notice. She is on a roll. Angel... I want you to go home.  
  
Angel looks down, angry and hurt. Buffy softens.  
  
I appreciate you coming and checking on me. But... I'm not in your jurisdiction anymore.  
  
Angel turns back to meet her eyes. He's never seen her so together, so confident about anything but slaying. She seems so grown up now. It's hard for him to deal with. She continues.  
  
You were the one who walked away, remember? You didn't think I could have a normal life with you. But here's where it's funny... I'm never going to have a normal life. And maybe you didn't realize it... or maybe it was just an excuse because you couldn't handle being with me and not... being with me.  
  
Angel tries to protest, but Buffy cuts him off.  
  
It doesn't matter. I don't blame you. Well... not anymore. I'm... you know that deep down I'll always love you...  
  
Spike exhales shakily, trying not to have a reaction to that.  
  
...but I'm a different person now. And so are you. You have a new life up there in L.A. And I have a life right here. And... I kind of like it.   
  
Spike feels her eyes on him. He looks up to find her smiling at him. He looks at the others to see if they're smiling too, maybe he's the punch line of a joke he doesn't understand. No one else is smiling. He looks back at Buffy. She is very focused on him.  
  
Now... YOU.   
  
Spike sits up. He's just about ready for anything she can throw at him. The way he feels right now, he wouldn't even fight her off if she tried to stake him.  
  
She doesn't seem to want to stake him, although her smile fades. Why didn't you tell me?  
  
I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't think... I knew you'd be... Spike gathers his wits and slows down, wanting to be totally clear and honest. I just didn't think you would let me help you if you knew I was... still in love with you.  
  
Buffy sits up straighter at this and inhales sharply, causing her pain to flair a bit. She winces.   
  
  
  
Stop saying you're sorry. She holds her ribs for a minute... eyes closed tightly... then relaxes. I wasn't talking about that. I mean... that's... information... that's new and useful. But I meant... you knew I thought your soul was a curse. Just like Angel's.  
  
No I didn't.   
  
Yes you did. You let me believe it on purpose.  
  
I... well... it's not hardly an issue, is it? Spike's eyes flit nervously back and forth to Xander and Angel. They're staring at him. What's the bloody difference, anyway?  
  
Buffy also has the feeling of being watched. Now she wishes she'd done private chats with each of them. But maybe this is something everyone needs to hear.   
  
There's a huge difference, Spike.   
  
Angel reacts to this. Buffy turns to him. I'm sorry, but... it is different. I mean... both times, it was something done to you... not something you... did.  
  
Xander's not happy. Spike is getting off too easily. Yeah, but Buffy, he only got the soul because of you!  
  
Buffy turns to him, honestly curious. And you're saying that's a bad thing?  
  
Spike's head shoots up. He looks into her eyes. Is she saying... what is she saying?  
  
Xander is at a loss for words. Angel is growing more uncomfortable. None of this stops Buffy. Still looking into Spike's eyes she says, He hurt me. He realized it. And he risked his life and his sanity to make sure he'd never do it again. I'm sorry, Xander, but to me, that's not so much a diabolical scheme.   
  
Spike stares back at her. He has no idea what to think.   
  
Suddenly Angel jumps up from his chair.   
  
So what are you saying, Buffy? You're saying that... you and Spike... are you saying that you...   
  
Love him? Xander finishes.  
  
Buffy is getting a little overwhelmed, especially with Angel standing over her with an accusatory look on his face, Xander looking over at her with a scowl, and Spike sitting in front of her looking very lost, and a little frightened.  
  
Okay... Angel... first of all. Sit. Down.   
  
Angel shakes his head and sits down, angrily. Buffy takes a few minutes to clear her head. Then:  
  
I'm gonna need a minute... alone. With Spike. There's things that need to be said, that--   
  
Xander shakes his head violently, No way. We had to take our lashings out here in the public forum so whatever you have to say to Spike you say it right here!  
  
Buffy looks at Xander. Why are you being like this?  
  
Because I... ! Xander trails off. He tries to calm down. Look, you told me you loved me, but to stay the hell out of your life. Fine. You told Angel you loved him and not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. So go ahead and tell Spike that you think he's swell, but you don't love him and a relationship with another vampire is the last thing you need. Then we can all get out of here and leave you alone so you can finish healing.  
  
Buffy looks at Xander for such a long time he has to finally ask,   
  
She just shakes her head and turns to Spike. Her expression softening. He is on the verge of tears.   
  
Spike... do you remember the night I died?   
  
This takes him completely off guard.   
  
Of course I do.  
  
Do you remember what you said to me, at my house... before?  
  
About protecting Dawn?   
  
Dawn looks at Spike. He glances at her and looks away, shyly.  
  
Buffy leans in towards him, speaking very softly. ...when you said you knew I'd never love you.  
  
Spike feels many sets of eyes boring into him. He looks down, shamed.   
  
  
  
There's a pause, then Spike hears Buffy say, You were wrong.   
  
Spike slowly lifts his head and meets Buffy's eyes. She is crying softly.  
  
I love you, Spike  
  
TBC   
  



	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
The room is filled with tense silence for a long moment. Spike's expression is unreadable. Mostly, he's trying to process what Buffy just told him.  
  
Finally, Xander cuts through the quiet. "But..." He looks at Buffy expectantly.  
  
Buffy doesn't want to break eye contact with Spike but now she's distracted. She looks at Xander. "What?"  
  
"There has to be a 'but'... you have to go with the trend you started. You love him. Whatever. I don't get it but whatever. BUT... you can't be together the way he wants... right?"  
  
Buffy just stares at him. "Why not, Xander?"   
  
Angel answers this question, trying very hard to keep his cool. "Because it's a huge mistake. And he'll hurt you again."  
  
"Angel--"  
  
"He's right." Spike finally speaks. Everyone looks at him. "Not about hurting you. I would never again... *could* never again. But everything about me is a huge mistake. I shouldn't have come back to Sunnydale. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. I shouldn't have gotten my soul. Truth is, it probably woulda been best if you'd staked me ages ago."  
  
Buffy is speechless. She shakes her head, trying to find words. Spike continues, sadly.  
  
"And you and I should never have happened. It was... unnatural and wrong. You don't belong with someone like me."   
  
Okay, now she's mad. "Unnatural?"   
  
Spike looks up, a little surprised.  
  
"What we had was unnatural? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Buffy I--"  
  
"No, Spike, seriously... what was so unnatural? What are you like... grossed out by me now or something?"  
  
Everyone is kind of in shock.   
  
Buffy stands and Spike stands to face her. Now he's just a guy who said the wrong thing, trying to fix it. "No... Buffy... I didn't mean... Not you. I'm the one who's unnatural. I mean I'm dead... a century now... dead. And you..."  
  
"Are some freak who gets off on dead guys!" Buffy is fuming. "That's basically what you're saying if you're saying I don't really feel what I feel."  
  
The eyebrow of Spike's confusion arches sharply. "What?"  
  
Xander and Angel are just sitting there watching this car wreck, unable to move or speak.  
  
Buffy pokes at Spike's chest. "Listen, it took me long enough to figure this thing out and to finally accept it, so when I tell you I love you, you'd better believe I mean it you son of a bitch!"   
  
Spike is so shocked by this that he actually laughs, although his brows are still knitted in confusion. He shakes his head and smile starts to form on his face. Is this really happening?  
  
Angel glowers darkly in his chair, he knows the battle is lost. Xander is a little slower on the uptake. He stands.   
  
"Buffy... are you crazy?"  
  
Spike continues to smile at Buffy and answers for her. "Yeah, Harris, I think she might be."   
  
Buffy's anger falls away and she smiles back at Spike.  
  
Angel's had enough. He stands to leave. Buffy breaks her smile kiss with Spike and turns to him. "Angel wait. Don't leave yet. I want to talk to you. Explain."   
  
"It's okay... I think I got it." Angels snarks and walks toward the door. Buffy looks back at Spike who reads her eyes and nods. She turns and runs after Angel.   
  
Spike is left alone in the living room with a grinning Dawn and a scowling Xander.   
  
"You know, just because she doesn't hate you doesn't mean I'm going to not hate you." Xander sneers.  
  
"I know."  
  
"In fact, I think I hate you even more now."  
  
"Okay." Spike shrugs. His mood can not be swayed.  
  
***  
  
Out in the foyer, Buffy is talking quietly with Angel.   
  
"I'm sorry about this. I know this must be..."  
  
Angel shakes his head. "I'm not the one you should be worried about Buffy."   
  
Buffy watches his face. "What do you expect from me, Angel? Did you want me to never fall in love with anyone else?"   
  
He looks at her.   
  
"Or just not Spike?"  
  
"Buffy... do you even remember why it was so hard for us? This thing with him... with any vampire... it's not..."  
  
"It's not an ideal situation, no. You know what else isn't ideal? Being chosen to save the world every five minutes and knowing that you might never make it to your twenty fifth birthday. Teaching your little sister how to defend herself against things that might kill her on the way home from school."  
  
Angel looks down at his feet. He's starting to get it.  
  
"I'm tired of trying to be normal and feeling miserable because I'm not. Don't you understand? I need to be someone who accepts me for who I am, not someone trying to guide me toward what I should be."  
  
After a long moment, he's able to meet her eyes, "I'm so sorry, Buffy."   
  
Buffy looks down and breathes deeply. She's been practicing that speech since he left town, four years ago. She never thought she'd actually be saying the words to him. And now he's actually apologizing.   
  
They're awkwardly quiet for a bit, then Angel speaks. "I still love you."   
  
Buffy tenses a bit. "I know. But you left."   
  
"And it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I am sorry I hurt you but I still think it was the right thing to do. You know what, Buffy? Love really doesn't conquer all."  
  
"Yeah, but the least it could do is put up a fight."  
  
Angel reacts, stung.   
  
Buffy instantly regrets saying it. "Angel, I'm sorry."   
  
"No. No, maybe you're right. Maybe Spike's right. I can't believe I just said that."  
  
Buffy laughs a little.   
  
"It's just that... in my mind... I could never in a million years feel I've done enough to deserve you. And to see you with Spike... I just... he's such an asshole."  
  
Now Buffy lets out a real laugh.   
  
"He's cocky and conceited and rash and damn him, he loves you better than I ever could."  
  
There is shocked silence between them. Buffy doesn't know what to say.   
  
Angel continues. "He knows that he doesn't deserve you either, but he loves you so much he doesn't care. I guess I envy that. Buffy, I'm never gonna like the idea of you and Spike, but if his selfish, pig-headed ignorance actually makes it possible for him to give you a happy life, then... well... I guess that's... a good thing"  
  
There is more awkward silence. Then, Buffy suddenly lets out a little sob and steps forward, putting her arms around Angel's neck and pulling him into a tight hug. In his own reluctant way, he has finally given her the closure she needs to move on. She feels so very grateful to him for it.  
  
After a moment of surprise, Angel closes his eyes and squeezes back, knowing this is goodbye. He holds her tightly and whispers at her neck. "If you ever need me for anything, if he ever... if you ever need my help, don't be afraid to call me. I will always be there for you. I promise. No matter what."   
  
Buffy sniffles a little and pulls away. "Thank you so much, Angel. I mean that. But you should know that there doesn't always have to be a crisis for you to come see me. Next time, I'm hoping it will be more of a social call."  
  
Angel smiles and nods. "It's a deal. But if you should ever decide to become Mrs. The Bloody, please DON'T invite me to the wedding."  
  
Buffy grins up at him. "Fair enough."   
  
***  
Buffy re-enters the living room smiling but wiping away a few stray tears. She stops in her tracks when she sees Xander and Spike kneeling at the coffee table, arm wrestling. Dawn stands over them, deeply concentrating on their clasped hands and making sure no cheating is going on.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Buffy demands of the two men, but they don't look up. They're staring into each other's eyes, veins bulging, teeth gritted... oh yeah, it's go time, baby.  
  
Dawn answers without taking her eyes off the game. "It was my idea. It's the only way they can settle this like men without Spike's chip going off."  
  
"Like men? What kind of men? Truckers?"   
  
Everyone ignores this.   
  
Buffy rolls her eyes and sits in a chair, purposely facing away from them. After a moment, she steals a glance toward them, Xander is turning red. Spike is determined but getting tired. She makes a loud sound of annoyance. Spike flicks his eyes to her and in that instant, Xander slams his hand on to the table.   
  
"OHHHH YEAH, baby! In YO FACE!" Xander is ecstatic. He jumps up, grabs Dawn, picks her up and spins her around. She giggles. Buffy hides a smile.   
  
Spike stands, watching the celebration with disgust. "I was distracted!"   
  
"Yeah, by my formidable strength! Wuss!" Xander feels terrific. There's a great big grin on his face.   
  
Spike crosses his arms in a pout. "Liked you better when you were pissed off."  
  
"Liked you better when you weren't here. Guess we'll both have to deal." Spike grumbles and turns away. Xander glances at Buffy quickly and then turns to Dawn. "Hey, how about a celebratory jaunt to Taco Bell?"  
  
"Mmm. Yo Quiero!"   
  
"Get your coat."  
  
When Dawn darts to the hall, Xander addresses Buffy. "I gather you want to be alone. I'll take her to a movie and then I'll call after to see if you wan't her to stay at my place for the night."  
  
Spike spins around to look at him, confused. Buffy is floored. "Xander! You don't have to--"  
  
"Look, I don't like him." He looks at Spike who makes a face at him. Xander turns back to Buffy. "But you do. So there must be something good in him somewhere. Maybe I'll see it one day. I DOUBT it... but maybe."  
  
Spike looks like he might cry. That was the nicest thing Xander has ever said to him.  
  
Xander tries not to look at Spike. "So, have... fun. Or... uh... bye."  
  
He turns around to leave. Spike can't stop himself. He shouts, "Thank you," at Xander's back.  
  
"Yeah, fine." Xander mumbles nervously as he walks away. Being this noble feels kinda weird. He meets up with Dawn at the front door.   
  
"Hang on a sec," she says, and goes into the living room. She walks slowly up to Buffy who looks a bit worried. Dawn smiles at her and gives her a hug. "You did good, today."   
  
Tears well in Buffy's eyes. She's not sure what to say. Dawn's maturity is a little surprising.  
  
Dawn pulls away still smiling, then looks at Spike. Her smile drops. He shifts his weight and clears his throat, nervous about whether she's going to threaten to set him on fire again. Instead she walks up to him and gives him a big hug. "Thanks for loving my sister so much."   
  
Spike awkwardly puts his arms around Dawn and pats her on the back, looking over her shoulder at Buffy. A tear runs down Buffy's cheek. This is something neither of them expected. Dawn pulls away and looks at him. "I know it's not a hard job, but you're pretty good at it, anyway."  
  
Spike smiles and in a hoarse, emotion filled voice he says, "Thanks, pidge."   
  
Dawn smiles at both of them and heads out into the hall where Xander has been standing, watching with a half smile, the whole time. "Have fun," she calls to them as she and Xander exit.  
  
Spike and Buffy stare at the closed door, still in some shock. Finally, Buffy turns to look at Spike.   
  
He takes a deep breath and smiles a little. "Hi."  
  
"Hi."  
  
They're quiet for a while, neither is sure of what to say first.   
  
Finally, Buffy speaks. "You let Xander win, didn't you?"  
  
"Course I did, luv. Vampire strength. Can't help it the sod's daft enough to think he can beat that."   
  
Buffy takes a step closer. Spike tenses slightly, then relaxes. "Of all the good you've done since getting that soul... even since getting the chip... I think what you just did was the most selfless."  
  
Spike shrugs and looks away. "Well, I do plan to tell him, eventually. Otherwise, what's the fun?"  
  
Buffy smiles and moves closer. Spike does not budge. His feet feel like they're glued to the floor. He wants so badly to touch her, but he's afraid any sudden moves will shatter this dream of a day.   
  
"Some day, huh?" It's as if she's read his thoughts.  
  
"Well, if it's really happening, I'd say I don't remember a better one."   
  
She is standing right in front of him now, so close he can feel her body heat. He gasps at her touch as she runs her hands up his arms and slides her fingers into his hair. "Buffy, I--" She yanks on a handful of his hair. "OW!"  
  
Buffy presses her forehead to his, smiling. "Didja wake up?"   
  
Spike grins. His whole body is humming at her closeness. "No."  
  
"That means it's really happening. And wanna know the best part?" Spike doesn't respond. He's too focused on her lips as he watches her say, "Day's not over yet."  
  
And then there's no more space between them. Their lips meet in a searing kiss. Their hands travel down backs and over shouders and hips and waists, trying to pull the other even closer. This is their first real kiss. There are no spells this time, no holding back, no cold mechanical fullfillment of need, this is the deeply passionate and pure kiss of two people very much in love. When Buffy pulls away, she sways a bit. Spike is out of breath.  
  
She looks up into his eyes. "I love you," she says quietly.  
  
Spike is overwhelmed, he can't stop the tears from blurring his view of her. He wipes roughly at his eyes with shaking hands. "I love you, too. So much, Buffy." She tiptoes up and kisses his wet cheek, then slowly kisses down his face and finally presses her lips again to his mouth. Her knees turn to jelly as he deepens the kiss and wraps his strong arms around her. She can feel herself aching for him.   
  
Slowly, Buffy pulls away and smiles at Spike's small groan as she breaks contact. She takes his hand and starts to lead him to the stairs.  
  
"Come on."  
  
Spike follows, entranced, but stops when he realizes where they're going. "Buffy, are you sure?"  
  
She doesn't respond. Instead, she starts to unbutton her blouse as she walks backward toward the stairs with a wicked smile on her face. Spike is actually panting now, as he watches her kick off her shoes and start up the stairs. She takes off her blouse and tosses it at his head. He catches it and inhales her perfume before tossing it aside. Buffy is now half naked and waiting for him on the stairs. He's not a stupid man. In seconds he is on top of her on the stairs, kissing and touching. "Spike, I want you," she whispers into his ear. He looks down at her wide eyes staring up at him, full of love and desire. This truly is the best day of his life.   
  
Suddenly, he stands and pulls her up to stand with him. She looks a little disappointed until he sweeps her into his arms and carries her the rest of the way up the stairs.   
  
*** 


End file.
